How To Stop Talking Yourself Out Of Your Best Ideas
If you’re a smart person in your 30s or 40’s who would love to start your own business or change careers, but you keep talking yourself out of all of your best ideas, and hence you’re still stuck, then please keep watching this video.
I’ll show you exactly how to stop the self-sabotage, so you can fast track your transition instead.
Because trust me, I know how debilitating and painful that combo of being a perfectionist, an Overthinker and a control freak can be ;).
Why do I say this?
Hi, my name is Rikke Hansen – I’ve spent the last 12 years working with smart people just like you.
I see again and again how perfectionists, control freaks, and overthinkers (smart people just like you) have a real tendency to shoot down their best ideas, and hence end up staying stuck for years in jobs they really shouldn’t stay stuck in.
What I want to share with you is an email I just got from John. He recently joined Your Career Change Map, which is my career accelerator programme, where I show people what the right career or business is for them. And I bet you can relate to John. Here’s what he asks:
“Hi Rikke, I have a tendency to overthink everything, including talking myself out of every possible career or business idea I can imagine.
Here’s what I do: Every time I find something I go “ah, but then there is this aspect of it that I wouldn’t like”, and I throw it away.”
Does that sound like you?
You get all these great ideas, but then, “Ah, BUT I wouldn’t like this, and I wouldn’t like that.”
And away it goes, and you’re back to square one.
If that sounds like you, then let me challenge you right away:
Who told you, or how come you think there is such a thing as perfection?
That there is such a thing as a perfect job, or a perfect career, or perfect business, that wouldn’t have aspects to it that you wouldn’t like?
So, stop behaving like it.
Behaving in such a manner, where you insist on everything having to be perfect and that there can’t be anything wrong with it, means that you will stay stuck in that job you hate forever.
Let’s give up on the idea of perfection.
Because there is no such thing as a perfect job, or a perfect business.
Because you are not perfect, the world is not perfect.
So, if we stop there it’s going to be so much easier, and you will transition so much faster.
And, don’t worry, it will still be bloody good.
Now, let me elaborate a little bit, just so we’re really clear about what we’re talking about.
Right now you’re likely in a job, or work scenario you’ve outgrown.
You want to leave it behind, you want to create a business, or transition into a different career.
That means right now you’re unhappy, and what you’re doing right now is insisting that if you cannot go from unhappy to perfect, I.e. finding a job, career, business with anything wrong it, then you’re just going to stay stuck.
Stop insisting on going from Unhappy to Perfect (or you’ll end up stuck forever).
What often happens is that people get into this mindset of “All or Nothing.”
I often hear people say this:
“If I cannot find that one thing I’m super passionate about that’s going to get me jumping out of bed in the morning, then I’m not going to bother.”
All or nothing.
Or, “If I cannot find a career or business that’s so much better and so much more perfect than what I have now, and that fits all of these unrealistic boxes, then I’m just going to stay stuck.”
I bet you know what kind of behaviour I’m talking about here. 😉
The biggest gift you can give to yourself is stopping that “All or Nothing” behaviour.
Instead, let me give you a word that’s going to change everything for you.
Forget about perfection, and focus on what is optimal.
Optimal means what is the best option out of all of the options that you DO have, even if they’re imperfect?
Optimal means the best you can be in an imperfect world. The most joy you can have in an imperfect world. The most you can self-express in an imperfect world.
Exchange perfection for optimal.
You are looking to approximate perfection, you’re looking for getting the optimal choice.
But forget about reaching perfection.
Now you know the kind of behaviour you want to stop.
You want to stop aiming for perfection, or rather insisting on perfection, and you want to stop that all or nothing scenario. And what we’re looking for is really optimal over perfect. All right?
Let’s get really practical. If you watched any of my videos, you know I’m really big on giving you a concrete strategy that you can do right now.
I want to say something before I get into the strategy.
Obviously approximation of optimal doesn’t mean you should just take whatever.
Clearly you want something that’s right for you, that gets you excited.
But there’s a very big difference between something being an inconvenience, an element that you wouldn’t like about a career or a business, and something being a showstopper, something you really shouldn’t tolerate.
Here’s what I noticed:
Often when people have a tendency to pick apart every business idea, or every career idea, it’s because they’re really vague about who they are and what they want.
The antidote? Write Your Zero Tolerance List!
One of the first things I do with clients when they work with me, whether that’s privately or via my online programmes, is I ask them to do what I call a Zero Tolerance List.
How do we do this?
We identify the things in your career history so far, so for the last 5, 10, 15, 20 years, that consistently have made you the most unhappy – And that you therefore want to avoid at all costs in that next career, or in your business.
And we write those down.
Generally it’ll be between maybe three to five things, ideally just around three, so you don’t have too many.
It’s things that really cause you a lot of pain, and you shouldn’t tolerate them going forward.
Often it’s things like having worked in a company where the ethics really disagree with your ethics.
Or there might have been a toxic culture, or there might have been certain things around working such long hours, under so much stress, that you almost killed yourself.
It’s things that are really showstoppers.
It’s not just inconveniences…
… like “oh, I don’t like Excel” or “I don’t like going on business trips every once in a while. “
Get really, really clear about what are the few things that you should no longer tolerate in a business, in a career.
Write them down, because future placing:
What that means is that next time you get an idea for a business or a career (or you might even have one right now), then you use your Zero Tolerance List!
Notice whether the thing you don’t like about that career, or that business – Are they just inconvenient things, or are they really elements that you should no longer tolerate?
Use your Zero Tolerance List instead of picking mindlessly at an idea!
Do you see how much more helpful that is, rather than “ooh, I don’t like this element?”
Instead, it could be like “No, that would really be a bad idea, because it’s part of my zero tolerance policy going forward.”
Versus “Yeah, it’s an inconvenience, but bearing in mind all these other great things I’ll get, I’m okay with it.”
Do you see how much faster, how much more confident you can move through the career change process using this approach?
That’s what I suggest you do. All right?
If you like this video, and you are the overthinking, perfectionistic type, and you want more like this, then LIKE this video, so I know that you love the subject.
Write a COMMENT below – Let me know what you think.
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You’ll get a lot more concrete strategy and advice from me that I won’t share on YouTube.
See you over there. Thank you.