Stop Comparing And Despairing On Social Media

Let’s talk about comparing and despairing on social media!

This video is for you if you are an aspiring career changer or an aspiring entrepreneur in your 30s or 40s+


You’re using social media as a sledgehammer to beat your self-esteem and your dreams to pieces as opposed to using social media as a tool for getting ideas, inspiration, and doing market research.

(Video mentioned in video + Link to more)


Video Transcript:

Let’s talk about comparing and despairing on social media!

This video is for you if you are an aspiring career changer or an aspiring entrepreneur in your 30s or 40s+


You’re using social media as a sledgehammer to beat your self-esteem and your dreams to pieces as opposed to using social media as a tool for getting ideas, inspiration, and doing market research.

Hey – My name is Rikke Hansen and I specifically help smart people in their 30s and 40s+ change careers or start their own business.

What I’ve noticed over the last couple of years (having done this work for over 12 years) is a real increase in the number of mature people, men and women over 35, who are actually doing this whole compare and despair to themselves on social media.

But most public attention is focused on on young people’s use, especially young women’s use of social media. What I therefore want to talk about in this video is how it’s absolutely a problem as well if you’re over 35 and, more importantly, what to do about it.

What I want to read for you is a question that I got from Julia, who recently joined Your Career Change Map, which is one of the programmes that I offer, so if you’re looking to find out what the right career change or the right business is for you, that’s an option for you, too.

But here’s what Julia says:

“Hi, Rikke.

How can I push past the compare and despair roadblock?

I.e. every time I find something that I’m keen on doing, I already see thousands of other people doing it on Instagram.

They are doing it way better than me, at a way younger age, and they’re already so successful, so I think why bother? Can I ever catch up? I’m a woman in my mid-40s.”

Can YOU relate to that?

Let’s talk about three things. Let’s unpack this really juicy question in three ways.

#1 Let’s talk about how you can use social media in an intelligent and compassionate way so it becomes a real practical tool for you as opposed to the sledgehammer you smash your dreams and your self-esteem with.

#2 Let’s talk about how you can use your age as a motivational factor rather than a hindrance.

I’m 44. A lot of my clients are in their late 30s, 40s, so I know that this can be something you can really beat yourself up with, but, trust me, it’s actually an advantage, and I’ll show you why.

#3 Let’s talk about, “Oh, but someone is already doing that thing I want to do.”

I’ll show you why that is actually a good thing.

I’ll be worried if there wasn’t somebody doing it already, all right?

Let’s get cracking.

#1 Use Social Media As A Lightbulb, NOT A Sledgehammer

First of all – Humans have done social comparisons for many thousands of years. There is nothing new about that. Of course, that’s normal.

What is new and what is really dangerous is that people, when they go on social media, they automatically go from compare to despair, so that’s the behaviour I want you to question.

If you think about it, if you’re not intelligent and compassionate with the way you approach social media, then it’s so easy to use social media as a sledgehammer for smashing your self-esteem, for smashing your dreams because here’s the deal:

Do you remember when we grew up?

You might compare yourself to your neighbour, to kids in your school, in your town.

Now, with the advent of social media, you’ve literally got the opportunity to compare yourself to every single person around the world, especially those who are very beautiful, very young, seemingly very successful, so that’s why you want to be really carefully.

What I always say to my clients is this:

Don’t use social media as a sledgehammer.
Use it as a light bulb.

Here’s what I mean by that:

A light bulb means that when you on social media, you are intentional and you’re compassionate, so you go on there to get business ideas, to do market research and to be inspired.

Next time you’re looking at someone (apparently) much younger, prettier, successful than you, then instead of thinking, “I’m nobody.” Think:

“Thank you so much for showing me what I crave in my business, what I crave in my career.”

And instead of despairing, gather ingredients, gather elements so you yourself can design and create the ideal career or business for you.

That is the best use of social media.

Envy is normal; use it to your advantage.

Whenever you see something, don’t despair, but grab it with both hands and say, “Hey. Thank you so much. That is an ingredient and an element I’m going to include in my business.”

#2 Use Your Age As A Motivational Factor

Let’s talk about age – The question was asked by a woman in her mid-40s.

I’m 44. I know exactly how you feel.

How do you think most women and men in their 30s and 40s+ feel when they scroll through Instagram and all they’re seeing are 25-year old something identikit versions of people feeding their pooch avocados or running on a beach.

Most people probably feel absolutely shit, but you know why?

It’s because they can’t relate.

What if YOU made it your mission to become one more person your age who’s really visible on social media with an opinion, with the experience, with the solidity of a woman or man in their 30s or 40s+?

Because we need a hell lot more of them on social media.

Rather than thinking:

“Oh, I’m too old, too ugly, too this, too that”…

…Be the person you wish you would see when you scroll through that social media feed.

I made a very distinct decision when I turned 40, four years ago, to become a lot more visible on social media with videos, with photos, all that kind of stuff, because I am so tired of not seeing more people like myself.

I know whenever I feel afraid of putting myself out there because I’m having a shit day and I look tired or old. I just think of you watching this video.

I want to be your hero in that sense.

I know you’re waiting for someone my age, with what I look like and sound like, with my life experience because you can relate to me.

Turn that around for you.

How many people do you think are waiting for someone who looks like you? Sounds like you? Who has got a business they can buy from? Or you’re moving into a career where you can help people?

Your age is an advantage, and we need you. Turn it into one of your biggest motivational factors.

Who do you want to be a hero to?

We need more visible men and women on social media over 35. You want to become one of them.

Rather than hiding away and smashing your dreams to pieces with social media, come on. Get involved.

You have no idea how many people are waiting for breathing, living, real, realistic role model like you.

It is totally an advantage.

#3 It’s A Good Thing If Someone Is Already Doing It

Number three is this whole thing around someone who’s already doing what I want to do.

You know what? That is a good thing.

That means there is an existing market, people are already making money.

You don’t have to convince people that they need a product.

That is a good thing. Especially if it’s your first business. You don’t want to go into an area that’s not served by anyone, where you have to spend the majority of time convincing people they need it.

Just remember the fact that someone is already doing it, is a great thing because here’s the deal:

Nobody’s like you.

You have a unique take on your product, on your market.


You might even want to niche down to different arena, to different client group, to different market.There are so many things you can do.
But nobody can do it like you.

I also just want to lead it back to the age question. What’s interesting is that the lady who asked this particular question, she actually told me after having having joined my programme, that one of the main reasons why she chose me was because she really felt that I got her.

She’s a woman in her mid-40s; I’m a woman in my mid-40s. I’m experienced. I get her.

She was looking at another programme that was actually run by someone a lot younger who probably couldn’t relate to her.

Remember, maybe you want to use your age as a selling point. Not that you have to, but don’t discard it. You have so much more ammunition that you can imagine.

In-depth Video Alert:

I know this is a massive block for a lot of people:“But what if somebody is doing it better than me?” Or ”What if someone already doing it?”

I actually do have another video about that – Just click HERE.

The video is called, “What if somebody steals my idea?” If you just replace, “What if somebody steals my idea?” With, “What if somebody’s already doing it?” That’s going to take care of you, so make sure you watch that video afterwards.

Let’s recap!

#1 Use Social Media As A Lightbulb, NOT A Sledgehammer

Compare does not have to be followed by despair.

Use social media as a light bulb for getting ideas, for your ideal business, for your deal and career, for doing market research, for connecting with people, for using envy in a good way.

NOT as a sledgehammer for smashing your self-esteem or your dreams.

#2 Use Your Age As A Motivational Factor

Your age is an advantage. It should be your motivation.

Don’t compare and despair. Become the role model that right now there are people out there waiting to see.

We need you.

#3 It’s A Good Thing If Someone Is Already Doing It

That means there’s money to be made. That means there’s a market.

That means YOUR transition will happen much faster and much more realistically.


If you liked this video, and you really found that I helped you today, please like this video and share it with friends who are thinking a similar way to you.

Do you want more videos like this around confidence and imposter syndrome?

Just go to

I’ve got five videos over there, specifically my best videos on overcoming imposter syndrome and getting more confidence, so sign up, and I’ll send you a link to that.


Thank you so much – Now go be the visible role model you wish you had x

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